Just Ranting...Ignore if you desire.

It's one thing to talk politics with me...but it does bother me when my parnts reference the fact that they hate gay marriage.  

For those of you who know--and for those who don't--I believe I am bisexual.  I don't know for absolute certain, but I do know I am attracted to both men and women.  If I happen to pass an attractive man on the street, I am inclined to do a double-take.  The same for an attractive woman.

But I've never told anyone but a few of my friends.

In High school, I had a crush on a female friend of mine.  However, I never told her how I felt.  Never.  I never even allowed myself to admit to myself that I was even attracted to a woman.  

When I was little, I came across a porn site by accident that left me scarred.  My parents left me alone a lot in middle school as they cared for my cancer-ridden aunt, feeding my addiction to the internet where no one stood over me and watched what I did (plus I learned quickly how to erase my web history).

To me, being attracted to someone of the same sex was akin to being sinful againt God.  And yes people, I am a christian.  I was born and raised in a Baptist church (born and bred in southern Georgia) and baptised in the family church.  It took me months and years to finally learn to accept myself and my feelings.  

Being attracted to someone doesn't change my personality.  It doesn't change the fact that I believe in God.  It doesn't change the fact that "God doesn't make mistakes" (Thank you Lady Gaga).  It doesn't change the fact that if I fell in love with a woman and she would be wonderful enough to take me as her wife, I would do it.

The only thing that would make me hesitate about it all...is my parents.

--

I know they love me.  They brought me into the world after all!  But the idea that the could reject me as their daughter if I ever had the audacity to come home and say that I was in love with a woman scares me more than any monster or weapon ever could.  

Today, we were watching the O'Reilly show.  Normally I like the Fox show because O'Reilly and I share very similar opinions and the fact that he explains his views on varying issues simply and easily as he can so that a thick-headed wet-behind-the-ears politic like me can understand.  

Today however, my dad and I managed to get into an argument about Obama's viewpoint on gay marriage.  Note: I DO NOT LIKE PRESDIENT OBAMA.  I don't.  And as I told my father today, you either like him or you don't.  In any case, we managed to leap into the discussion about the secularzation of the commandments and he hinted at how God lies out very clearly in the bible His views against gay marriage.

Now let me ask everyone who managed to read this far...what do you think?  If there is a Higher Power (you don't have to or not) that makes/made homosexual love, why would He "make a mistake"? Why would He outline in his book "One man shall lie with one woman" and all that yet still make people love members of the same sex?  

Homosexuality has existed for many, many years, though the earliest records wasn't recorded until  nineteenth century in 1869 with a German pamphlet against an anti-sodomy law in Prussia (Wikipedia).  Homosexuality is often common in other species of animals as well, and we seem to be the only society so divided over it.  

So let me just end on this: thank you for letting me ramble.  And I hope that one day we can have the courage to stand up in a church with the one we love regardless of whatever gender they are...

Oh and I promise I am working on Love That Should... .  I was just very busy with college and now busy trying to find a job while I'm home... Actually, now that I've written all this much I should actually work this week...